Stab

"''For you see, all that we (the collective sum of humanity) enjoy, be it the luscious, sweet lingering affection of love and romance, both romantic and platonic, the decadence of hedonism, the exhilaration and vim of success, the short-lived tenderness of youth, the undeviating, consistent thrill of discovery and adventure both near and far, the call to adventure being a subtle yet crystal-clear come-hither, or the immense, suppressive force that is happiness, the worldly power of redemption, or the realization of self-worth and independence, will, in due time (nay, in the twinkling of an eye), be presently swept away, ceremoniously discarded in an illustrious, all-encompassing storm of cosmic fatality and ruination brought forth by the will and whims of those who once possessed such ebullience and gaiety before being engulfed by the fire and immersed in the rain. Anyway, here's Wonderwall.''" - Stab, at a Karaoke Bar

Stab is the apparently-Chechen brother of Stan Reilly, the drummer for Hard Jams Inc. Stab is a psychic, and makes his living fortune-telling, and occasionally selling insurance. Austin first encounters Stab at a karaoke bar while searching for the President. Contrary to Stab's name, he is much more proficient with a gun than he is with a knife. Stab's fortune-tellings are scarily accurate when he wants to be serious, but most of the time, he's just fucking with people.

Personality
If Stan is the Prince of Hippies, then Stab is undoubtedly the King, maybe even the God. He has mastered the art of going with the flow - his laidback, mystic ways are a departure from the insane antics of the rest of the cast, especially VSSPAL. He claims to be a "pacifist", but he has been seen shooting bad guys on multiple occasions.

Due to his spiritual connections, he knows a whole lot more about the world around him than anybody else, and his predictions for the future are always scarily accurate; however, most people don't get what the hell he's talking about because of how long-winded and verbose he is. And sometimes Stab will simply mess around with people when they get too serious or too cross with him. For example, when Tuxedo Knight threatened to kill him if he didn't tell him his fortune for free, Stab predicted that Tuxedo Knight would "wear a tuxedo tomorrow", which ticked Tuxxy off to no end.

Trivia

 * Stab has written a book on psychic powers and fortune-telling entitled The Dreamscape, but for some reason, the book doesn't contain anything about psychic powers or fortune-telling at all; it just has a bunch of recipes for cuisine Stan likes. Regardless, it was a best-seller.


 * Sometimes Stan uses Stab to help him win gambling tournaments, which they always do, even though neither of them know what poker is, let alone how to play it.