Jakes

"I'm right here, dipshit-- I mean, sir."

Jakes is a pink-collar worker working for Austin Ho during his time as President of the United States. It is (at first) implied that he helps run Twinkle Park, the White House's amusement-park backyard, but it is later revealed that he's actually in charge of the White House's security detail. He is killed by Austin Ho, and then killed again (as a zombie) by VSSPAL, Skully, and Frollo Swaggins. Business as usual!

Personality
Jakes is a typical downtrodden worker, forced to put up with the hyperactive antics of Austin and the rest of VSSPAL. Eventually, he becomes so fed up that he tries to kill Austin. He fails, however, after Austin uses the MUDA MUDA MUDA technique. Jakes gets a shittily-made grave in his name. When he is brought back as a zombie, however, Zombie Jakes is considerably colder and far more violent than his previous self; Zombie Jakes' first instinct, upon being brought back to life, is to bodyslam Austin and demand information on the whereabouts of Pacha, the legendary sword. This lasts about three seconds, however, before he is sniped multiple times.