Doctor Ian, Doctor Hiss

"SCIENCE... IS COOL! AND HISS... IS A FOOL!" - Doctor Ian, cerca 2014

Doctors Ian and Hiss are a pair of scientists born and raised in the EQ Realm; the two of them became best friends in high school and went to college together before founding EQ Science and Energy (EQSE, pronounced like Esquisse) and overseeing the development of the EQSE Tower. Thanks to the enormous electromagnetic barrier surrounding the EQSE Tower, Ian, Hiss, and the EQSE Scientists became the only 100% sterile survivors of the EQ Catastrophe, the man-made disaster that ruined the EQ Realm. Ian and Hiss have devoted their efforts to restoring the EQ Realm back to its former glory, even though all they do is bicker. Also, Hiss is a snake.

Personalities
Doctor Ian is a prickly, smug kind of fellow, spiked with enough humor and personality to rise above his generally irritable personality. The concept of "indoor voice" is an alien one to Ian; he has no indoor voice. He is almost always the one to start fights with Hiss, even if the reasons for starting that fight are completely petty and invalid. Regardless, the man has a heart of gold, even if he is a bit short-sighted and somewhat air-headed (his views on the world Austin came from are a bit out-of-date). Ian's scientific specialty involves energy and the manipulation, application, and / or distribution thereof, as well as agricultural science (such as the restoration of greenery, water purification, radiation clearing).

If Doctor Ian represents the passion of ESQE, then Hiss represents the logic. Hiss is always(sss) methodical, businesslike, and cultured; his area of expertise seems to involve chemicals and the manipulation, application, and / or distribution thereof, as well as robotics and all things robots, even if he doesn't have any opposable thumbs... or hands, for that matter. Hiss, as a whole, tends to be more practical than the emotionally-driven Ian, which leads them to bicker and quarrel over dumb shit.

The two men could potentially be the world's greatest scientists, but they never actually get anything done, because all they do is dick around in their ridiculously expensive laboratory.

Trivia

 * Hiss is a snake.
 * The two Doctors, at the time of Austin's arrival, were in the midst of a heated conflict with Jaclose, who'd wanted to use the EQSE Tower for his own purposes. When they politely told him to fuck off, Jaclose tried to overpower them, but the Doctors' guard robots were too strong. After Austin managed to cool Jaclose down, however, things became much more cordial between the Doctors and the sorcerer.
 * Reportedly, the two men have about 254.7 degrees each (it's never explained how the .7 comes into play), including, but not limited to, a P.h.D. in Dickery, a P.h.D. in Horribleness, a Bachelor's in Theater (Shakespearean and modern) and a Master's in Ice Cream Manufacturing.
 * Hiss reportedly has an entirely human family - it's never made clear who the snake in the family is (other than Hiss, of course).
 * Both of the Doctors are far more influential to the overarching plot than they think they are. They are the creators of the TELEPROT GUN, which can allow Austin to teleport from dimension to dimension so long as the battery is charged; their electromagnetic barriers wound up protecting the White House from PPkO Death-Lord's Br00tal Rain of Death; they were the ones that came up with the idea of recharging Pacha by placing it in cryostorage, which prevented Pacha from overheating and asploding. They also created Pacha v2 by analyzing the properties of Pacha and implementing the basic idea of those properties into a weapon. When Ian and Hiss decided to branch out into other dimensions, EQSE's inventions and products wound up helping a lot of countries, especially Progeria and Canadia.
 * Ian and Hiss created both Muggy and Manuel as a joke, but when they realized how incredibly annoying both Muggy and Manuel were, the joke ceased to be funny. Instead, they made Muggy and Manuel "corridor officers" (the equivalent of a janitor in ESQE, and that's being rude to janitors).