68.9-Fingered Man

"I used to have 69 beautiful fingers. But now... only 68.9 beautiful fingers. And I've devoted my entire life to finding the bastard that caused such a tragic happenstance. And I believe I've found him. DRAW YOUR WEAPON."

The 68.9-Fingered Man (otherwise known as the 68.99999999999-Fingered Man) is a minor antagonist in the Stuff Store Regular Universe. He appeared during one of the arcs idk, and challenged Austin to a nearly fatal duel. As is noted by his name, he doesn't have 69 fingers, but 68.9 (or 68.99999999999 fingers instead. It's very specific, don't get it wrong. He takes offense to that.

History
The 68.9-Fingered Man, formerly known as the 69-Fingered Man, used to have 69 fingers. It is unknown what his occupation was before losing the incredibly tiny part of his 69th finger, but here is what is known: a man walked into his village one day and brutally made an infinitesimal cut on his 69th pinky and then left as the 68.9-Fingered Man wept. He vowed revenge upon the man that caused said cut on his pinky. He picked up his sword and never looked back, in constant pursuit of the man that ruined his life.

After years of searching, he finally came across the man he thought was responsible: Austin Ho, the Chosen One. Without much fanfare, he drew his sword and challenged Austin to a duel. Austin, with his usual bravado, accepted graciously. Unfortunately, Austin underestimated the brutal power of getting smacked across the face with a hand that has 68.9 fucking fingers on it. The moment Austin made the 68.9-Fingered Man drop his sword, he gave Austin an enormous wallop that sent him reeling across the world and back in the exact same spot he started.

The 68.9-Fingered Man raised his hilariously oversized hand, prepared to smite Austin, before realizing he wasn't the right guy. "My bad, bro," he apologized before picking up his belongings and politely taking his leave. Austin appreciated the gesture, or he would have had he not been writhing in agony from getting WALLOPED BY A 68.9-FINGERED HAND.

And onward the 68.9-Fingered Man ventured, still determined to find the man that gave him the scar on his 69th finger. Whether he has found him or not is a mystery, but fate has a way of making things appear when you least expect it.